I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
