does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
