Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
