I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
