His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
