need another drink. this is the easiest way
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
