how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
