Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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