it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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