You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
