After last night, I could never be a politician.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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