I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
