I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
