Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
