U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
