So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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