Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
too bad you live with your parents still
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
