why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You don't make any sense
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