I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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