When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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