"it" just moved
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
