I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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