i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
