So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hippo gnu deer
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We need to get me chipped asap
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
