I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
