He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
