Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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