come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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