I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
