A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
