and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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