I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
