She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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