is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
