people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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