im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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