where does the pee come out of this thing
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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