u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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