her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
