Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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