stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
