They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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