She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
