Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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