I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My vagina is officially offended.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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