Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
