you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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