Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
