Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
