Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

(651): View more from Minnesota

That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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(319): View more from Iowa

the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler

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(510): View more from California

well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

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(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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(518): View more from New York

They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.

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(813): View more from Florida

I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable

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