I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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