Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
